…but to explain to you that my mom watched the dog whisperer and apparently the man said pet dogs view their owners as their ‘pack’ and that is why they are sad when we leave. Now my parents will not stop walking around going, ‘there’s are pack brother’ or ‘you will always be in our pack’ and I’m about to swan dive into the bay behind my house and swim as far away as possible.

That was an extreme exaggeration (about the swimming, not the pack talk because I assure you that is entirely real).