Apparently, this story is absolutely hilarious for everyone except me. However, as I am sitting here studying, it popped into my head and actually made me laugh. So hopefully this will brighten someones day in someway. 

In high school, my boyfriend was coming over, so I decided I was going to cook a turkey dinner. Carrots, asparagus, mashed potatoes and cinnamon buns, the whole shebang. So as the turkey is in the oven, I hear a loud cracking noise. I look in the oven and see that the ceramic pan is in half with the bagged turkey sitting on top. So, to save the turkey, I start to pull the bag out, but one of the corners catches and rips the bag open, spilling turkey juice all over my oven and kitchen floor. Panicked, I grabbed a glass plate to temporarily put the turkey on as I cleaned the floor. As I am holding the glass pan, I slip in the turkey juice, drop the pan, the pan breaks, I fall… onto the glass shards from the broken pan.

Fun tidbit, I pass out when I see blood. I look down and my hands are bleeding and everything starts to get dark. My boyfriend runs in from the other room, after having heard the large crash. My dog also decides to make a trip in to investigate and starts licking the turkey juice/glass shard mixture. To help prevent myself from passing out I have to lay on the floor in the cold. Perfect, it was snowing! As my boyfriend is asking if I’m okay, I run out of the room, flailing and running into things, onto my back porch, where I lay in a pile of snow. I was finally able to come inside as my boyfriend operated on my hands and I lied with a glass of water on my head. Mem-or-iesss.

Final notes: 1. We did still eat the dinner, and never have I ever seen more wilted and sad looking asparagus. 2. My dog did not die 3. I did not get stitches, even though I should have 4. I did not pass out 5. My oven did catch on fire the next day when my mom turned it on.

Also, bare with me, this story is much more entertaining in person.